Letters to Facebook and Its "Followers"

Dear Facebook,
     I hate you. But I can't quit you. You are a "necessary" evil. Damn you and your convenience. Most of my friendships are maintained via you. You are my primary source of communication with the people you consider to be my friends. Why isn't there a list for acquaintances? Friend list? Yeah, that makes sense. Acquaintance list? That makes more sense. There should be a way that I can organize whose status updates I see when I log on and separate out the ones that I just don't care about. I wish you had a button that allowed "Interesting Posts Only." Most people would "like" that. Instead you give us the all or nothing option.
     Just sayin',
       Ryan

Dear Facebook Users,
     I dislike most of you. Make your statuses interesting. I don't care if it doesn't make sense, just don't tell me that you miss cuddling with your boy/girlfriend 8 times a day. I don't care where you are checking in to eat, work, or shower. You probably shouldn't tell your stalkers that you're showering anyway. You know those statuses that you think are really deep and reflective and are providing new insight to the world? You know who cares? You. If you're gonna quote a song, just post a video. If I feel like it, I'll watch it. All I'm asking for is a chance to ignore you without having to through the effort of clicking the ignore button. I went on facebook to kill time and in the hopes of being entertained, not to read about how your cat just sneezed.
      Seriously? C'mon.
       Ryan