What Does God Eat?

Bacon. Bacon is delicious. Go have some bacon and then debate the previous sentence. You can't. It is a universal truth. God eats bacon. At least, He would if He existed. I say "He" because I am making reference to the scripture, not being sexist or non-politically correct.

I was raised Catholic. I went to a Catholic high school. My grandmother is devoutly Catholic (kinda). If you tell me that you were raised to be, and still are, a Catholic, that is the equivalent of telling me that you had help getting dressed this morning.

I have a theory that the Boston mafia was founded by the Catholic Church. The Pope is the biggest mob boss around, and people take his word as infallible! What the duck?! Last time I checked, which isn't too often, just whenever a priest touches too many kids and the Pope releases a statement, the Pope was human. Humans are flawed by nature. All of us.

The Catholic Church wrote the Bible, not the "Holy Spirit." Why are they called the books of the Bible? Because at the Council of Hippo, and Carthage, in the late 4th Century certain "holy scriptures" were collected and put into one big, heavily edited, collection. This is what the Bible is. A book of books. Who wrote the books? Not the people that they're named after. Oh hell no. Those people were dead well before the versions of the books of the Bible we have now were written. These books were written as books. To entertain and to teach, not to brainwash.

There are a lot of "holy scriptures" that were left out of the Bible. How come the Qu'ran was left out of the Bible? The Torah is in there, so why not Judaisms half-brother Islam? Both come from the House of Abraham, who reminds me a lot of Arnold Schwarzanegger. He had a wife and a maid. Had a kid with the maid, then the wife. Not saying anything is gonna happen with these kids, besides maybe Running Man 2, it just seems to happen a lot.

I could go on for quite some length about why Christianity is among the stupidest religions on Earth, but I'll conclude, for now, with this. Why isn't Christianity considered to be a sect of Judaism? Jesus was a Jew. He preached reform to the old ways, nothing new. Why the differences? Are we that determined to hate each other?